Are you a complete fraud and fear that one day someone will find out your dirty little secret?
“Do you find that bad nail artists have self-confidence and good nail artists have self-doubt?” This is not based on any research, just my little musing but it made me think about the amount nail art that’s not posted because nail artists don’t think they’re good enough.
Are you a complete fraud and fear that one day someone will find out your dirty little secret? That you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing? Do you feel like an imposter and wonder why people think your work is so good? I do! In fact, it doesn’t matter what I am doing, I am constantly questioning myself and why I have the authority or right to share my stuff with others.
It hit me the hardest when I wrote my first book “The secret to great nail art“. Sick at the thought of releasing it out there, feelings of self-doubt sinking into my soul, I wondered who the heck I thought I was, writing a book like that. But, I pulled up my big girl pants and did it anyway and have helped many nail artists because of it.
Imposter syndrome occurs when we feel like a fraud or when we feel that our successes are undeserved. We convince ourselves they’re based on luck, timing, or other factors outside of our control instead of embracing that we’re responsible for having made those successes happen.
Everyone is their own biggest critic and self-doubt is part of your creative process. Learning to live with that and working through those feelings will help you move forward and be successful.
The best way to do that is to understand what type of imposter you are;
Perfectionism and impostor syndrome often go hand-in-hand. Perfectionists set high goals for themselves and when they fail to reach them they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up. They can also be control freaks, feeling that no one can do it right so they have to do it themselves. Micromanaging everything- they will struggle to delegate. When they do delegate, they are often left frustrated and disappointed in the results.
Do you accuse yourself of “not being cut out” for your job and ferment in self-doubt for a few days when you don’t hit the high goal you set for yourself? Do you feel like your work must be 100% perfect, 100% of the time? If yes, perhaps you’re a perfectionist. For a perfectionist, success is never enough because they believe they could’ve done even better.
So how do you stop the cycle? It’s important to own and celebrate your achievements, and not wish for a better outcome, otherwise, you will head for burnout. Find contentment by learning that mistakes are a natural part of any creative process. Waiting for the perfect time is pointless, because the truth is, there will never be the “perfect time,” and your work will never be 100% flawless.
Convinced they are a phony among real-deal nail artists, superwomen will push themselves to work harder to measure up and covering up their insecurities. They may stay later at the salon or get stressed when they’re not working and find downtime wasteful. Superwomen don’t feel like they have truly earned their position or title (despite the qualifications and achievements.) They crave reassurance and validation, constantly seeking approval to supplement their self-doubt.
Addicted to the validation that comes from posting nail art online, it is more about the likes, comments and shares than it is the artwork itself. It’s important to not rely on external validation. No one should have the power to make you feel good about yourself and your work. Nurture your inner confidence and don’t take things personally.
It is a classic case or don’t worry about what others think, finds the validation in the joy you find creating. Not the result.
People who struggle with this, judge the success of their skills on how hard or easy it is. They think if they had to work hard at it they must have failed.
They don’t judge themselves based on high expectations they set for themselves like perfectionists but on their success or failure on getting things right on the first try. When they’re not able to do something quickly or fluently, they flounder. They don’t like receiving help or mentoring because they think they can handle things on their own. They won’t try something new if they don’t think they will be successful at it in advance.
Lifelong learning and skill building Is something everyone has to do to achieve great things, even the high achiever. It’s important to not discount anything just because you think you won’t be good at it.
THE INDEPENDENT INDIVIDUALIST
Asking for help reveals weakness so the Independent individualists refuse help so they can prove their worth. They firmly feel they need to accomplish things on their own and don’t need help from anyone.
If they have to ask for help, they will not feel they deserve their position because they couldn’t do it on their own. Asking for help when you need it is an important part of any growth, understanding the value of support will help eliminate imposter syndrome.
The expert feels they have somehow tricked everyone around them into thinking they’re a hot-shot nail artist? They fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable and will shy away from posting their work for others to see until it is perfect.
Constantly seeking training or certifications because they think they need to improve their skills could mean it could become a procrastination. Sometimes it’s just good to get on with it. You have the tools, now use them.
Once you have figured out what you do to self-sabotage your self-confidence then you can combat that by rewriting your thought process.
You’re not alone, with over 70% of us feeling some type of imposter syndrome at some point in our lives. No matter the specific profile, if you struggle with confidence- you’re far from alone.
But there are three simple things to consider helping you move out of the funk imposter syndrome puts you in.
1. You’re not alone – trust me, you really are not the only person who feels like this.
2. When you share what you know, it benefits others and helps you heal your feelings of being a fraud.
3. Talk to someone, this is the hardest one to do. But share how you feel, it helps- voicing your deepest, darkest fears and listening to them makes you hear that your ugly truth is just a lie.