Are you lacking in Self Confidence?

We talk a lot about self confidence, especially having a lack of it. What is fantastic is that we can recognise when there is a lack, but also a desire for more. self confidence is easy to identify, we can recognise it in ourselves and in others. But we struggle to define it, to measure it and conceptualise it even though we can see family and friends grow in their self confidence.

To reach your goals, be successful and most importantly to be happy, you need confidence. Confidence is useful in every aspect of your life.

Growing Self Confidence

I remember when my daughter Devon was 5 years old and I hired a car on holiday. I asked her to hand the paperwork over to the desk while I waited and watched on from the car. She was so scared going up to the reception and having to interact with new people and do something she had never done before. But when she got back she was so giddy and excited that she had managed do it.

Watching her grow in confidence like that as she’s gotten older has been amazing to see. Taking time each day to do something that makes you a little uncomfortable is great for building your self confidence. No one is born with self confidence, it is a part of you that needs to be nurtured, taught and built over time. It is never too late in life to begin working on your self confidence.

It’s Up To Who?

Everyone has flaws, but everyone also has positive aspects that they should be proud of! Choosing which of these to focus on is a choice that can deeply affect your self confidence. In other words, you are your own worst enemy, your own harshest critic but also your biggest motivator and source of encouragement.

Without self confidence you end up relying on the validation of others in order to feel happy with yourself. This then leaves you open to rejection, I often would find myself seeking the praise and approval of my father. When he wouldn’t give it to me it would leave me feeling rejected and hurt, it made me scared to branch out of my comfort zone which didn’t allow me to grow as a person.

While it is good to accept peoples praise, relying on it comes with its own risks. Positive remarks should be accepted from a point of self belief, not overlooked or disregarded. This is the hardest thing I had to overcome as I developed my own self confidence. To allow myself to take risks without the fear of failure.

It’s Up To You!

The thing with self confidence is that it is all down to you, it is how you see yourself that affects how people see you. Your interactions and connections with other people is a reflection on how you see yourself. If you don’t have high self-esteem or much self confidence then it is because you are focusing on your negative traits and what you are doing wrong rather than your positives and successes.

Even the most talented person on earth had to build their confidence in their talent, they needed to believe in themselves to make full use of their talent. Building your self confidence can come from different foundations like faith and knowledge. It is different from one person to the next as to how they build this part of themselves, but everyone must do it. Confidence and attitude are available to all of us as we develop our skills and talents. It isn’t up to anyone else to do that for us.

Too Much Confidence?

It is importance to recognise the difference between self confidence and arrogance. Self confidence is a positive yet reasonable view of yourself and your abilities. You trust your own skills  and believe that, within reason, you will be able to accomplish what you desire, plan to do or anticipate doing. It doesn’t mean that you will be able to do everything.

Even if some of your standards aren’t met, as a self confident person you will remain positive and accept yourself and your limitations. These don’t make you a worse person, but instead someone who has realistic and reasonable standards and a belief in themselves.

So Don’t Worry

You aren’t expected to be self confident about every aspect of your life all of the time. There will be parts of your life you are more confident in, for example, your job, relationships and your hobbies on the other hand there will be things you are less confident in like appearance (which I know can change hourly lol).

You need to be willing to risk the disapproval of others because of your confidence in your own skills, to accept yourself without feeling the need to conform or please others.

The main thing about self confidence is that it is something that needs to be worked on continuously. It is easy to lose confidence in yourself or your abilities if you do not keep demonstrating to yourself your control over it.

If you are struggling with confidence but have found a cool hack or a way to overcome it, then please share on my Facebook Page. I’ll be back next week with a post all about creating a confident nail tech.