When you are a hairdresser, clients become more than just bums on seats, after a time you create a special bond and relationship with them.  You travel with them on their journey of life. You share in their tears of celebration, of joy, laughter, sadness, sorrow and farewells.

I first became aware of Breast Cancer when I was 16 years old when Gwen, one of my clients was diagnosed with terminal Breast Cancer. (It wasn’t talked about or out in the open as often then as it is today). I didn’t know what to do or how to react, I wasn’t sure how to respond to the news, or what I could do for her to make things easier. This amazing beautiful strong woman showed me, through her pain and suffering how she wanted her family and friends, me included, to treat her. She wanted people to treat her the same as before her diagnosis, she didn’t want pity, there was no talking as if she wasn’t in the same room, no conversation around “her condition”. Only pure love and respect.

Over the 40+ years in my trade, this type of cancer has shown its ugly head too many times in my clients. Young or old, females and even males, clients, friends and family of clients and two of my dearest closest friends. Yes, no one is immune.

Gwen encouraged me to learn as much as I could about Breast Cancer by talking to my Doctor, by not only listening to but hearing the words my clients who were enduring the long arduous process of treatments, what were/were they not saying? Over the years, this gave me some understanding of how they were coping and how their mood could easily change depending on their bodies reactions to treatment. “It sucks” was what I heard a lot, at times the side effects and frustration took control of their minds and the ones they love the most faced the wrath of their words. That is what hurt them the most. It was if they had no control over what or how they spoke.

I soon began to understand not to take this change in them personally as it was their way of letting off steam. Quite a few of them said they couldn’t do that with family and friends as they would be coddled or pitied. It makes you feel very humbled when someone trusts you enough they can let their emotions out without judgement, no advice, just listening. These are the times when I hid in the toilet and let my tears flow. What happens to these people during this process sucks as not everyone survives.

It doesn’t shock me anymore how every person enduring Breast Cancer differs in their personal reaction to the loss of the so called “ feminine” parts of their body. Some are more concerned about the loss of body hair, some their breast, some get vibrant colour wigs even though they would have never changed their natural hair, some proudly walk around with their bald heads held high and then some get amazing tattoos on their breasts. Each person is unique and each dealt with it in their own way… Stuff everyone else. These women are true warriors.

I could talk about the “Goodbye bad”, “Welcome new” family dates in the salon, when removing the already falling out hair. Sometimes the client would do a little shave in the front, sometimes their families did a bit. My reason for this was to help my client, to see the new hair grow and to embrace it….hence the name. On many occasions members of the family would ask me to take off their hair also, right there and then…..the thought usually never entered their mind until they saw their love ones hair falling out with the remaining tuffs being shaved off.

The hardest part was when family members ring you to say they have passed, or they would come in just to thank me for my friendship, care and love. A long warm hug usually followed……no goodbyes said….it was the last time I would see them. These are the times you think life sucks, as a little piece of me went with them.

So after 40+ years I owe my thanks to the beautiful Angel Gwen who started my journey of understanding this horrid disease and the domino effects it has on those closest to you.
Gwen along with all the other women who have come into my life, showed me from a young age,  how to know every part of my body so when something is amiss get it dealt with ASAP.
I will be eternally grateful to each and every one of them, for I was a fortunate one, that memory is for somewhere down the track.

So explain to the people in your life to know their bodies, it could save their life.
Cancer can be anywhere in the body, know yours well.

Sometimes being with the person, no words, just silent and holding their hand for however long, is all they need to know someone truly cares.