Straighten a Woman’s Crown, Don’t Knock it Off

We can’t build an industry tearing each other down…

Taking steps

I received an upsetting message the other day from a fellow nail tech, she came to me looking for support and advice on how to react to some comments that had been made about her achievements. It reminded me of the unkinder side of our industry, I wasn’t necessarily surprised as social media allows people to leave unsolicited comments and opinions positive or negative. 

I was shocked that the criticism and negativity directed at her wasn’t because of a mistake she had made, or an offence she had caused, no-no. The negativity was being directed at her because she chose to share something other than nails to her Facebook, the outrage wasn’t just that she had shared something different, it was also but she chose to train, educate herself and understand something new altogether! Here is the message I received (Edited for clarity).

“I posted about gaining my level diploma in Counselling and CBT and got some negative comments as it’s not nail related…. Should I remove my post? I was just so pleased as it was hard work to do alongside working for NHS and doing nails, I just wanted to share but now feel awful….”

There are so many interesting parts of this story, this person works two jobs, one of which is as an NHS Key Worker and by insisting that they only ever talk about one aspect of their life, you are missing out on what makes that person who they are. You are putting them in a box and saying ‘It doesn’t matter what you do for you, all that matters is what you do for me’. You are minimising and disregarding every other achievement because it doesn’t entertain you, nobody grows by doing this, all that happens is that those offering their knowledge cease to share for fear of a backlash.

I am not only an educator or a nail tech and neither are you! I am an artist, a mother, a wife, and so much more, how I choose to share that with people is my choice just like it is your choice to represent yourself. My response to this is the same response I would deliver to anyone who had this issue whether a nail tech or not.

The issue about what you posted not being nail related isn’t actually true, the ability to offer better counsel when talking to clients, friends or family who are looking for help will never not be necessary. I can’t understand why someone wouldn’t celebrate this, as nail techs we are all unpaid counsellors and now you’re better equipped and more knowledgeable.

Instead of taking the post down and bowing to the trolling, instead use it to prove others wrong and educate those who reacted negatively. If it was me I would say this;

It is always a surprise to me when this industry fails to lift other women, can people not see that we are all working towards providing a better quality of service to our clients and to other techs. We empower other women when we give them a fresh set of nails, often we give them confidence and provide a place for them to talk about their problems and make themselves feel better. shouldn’t we be doing it to ourselves as well?

I was so pleased after years of study to achieve something which supports others, it was not easy but relates to us as individuals and women of this industry. I wanted to share it with you and I thank you for your beautiful words of support, but to those who think it is unrelated to nails, I am sorry for you, because we are women working together in an industry which lifts other women. surely anything we do to help this is related to nails

Now obviously you can’t copy this down word for word, but the meaning behind the post is the same, remember, kill them with kindness and when they go low, you go high. Point out the negative and turn it on them, other people will see what they have written and feel equally as shocked and ashamed that someone could be that way. If you aren’t the type of person to make a post like that then you could do nothing. But the one thing you definitely should do is let it go. It is nothing to do with you, you are amazing, and f**king fantastic to do the job you do, as well as your side hustles and studies. I admire your tenacity, bravery and achievements so who gives a f**k about their small-mindedness? They are just jealous…well maybe, I wouldn’t know, but celebrate your success with pride. It is truly fantastic.

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