Accepting Your Choices & Your ‘Failures’

Sometimes it’s hard to let things go…

Scrabble Letters spelling the words 'MOVINGF

We all make mistakes and at some point in our lives, we have all encountered an obstacle that we felt that we couldn’t overcome. These are matched with those feelings that we all try to avoid, failure, disappointment and a lack of self-belief.

It is even worse though when you know that these will be unavoidable no matter what decision you make, this is the dilemma I found myself in.

Everyone makes mistakes, that is a fact we cannot avoid and when we make mistakes, negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy very often creep into our minds and act as a catalyst, fuelling even worse feelings. We may all have made serious mistakes in our lives, we are taught to conform and focus, taught to go through the same processes as everyone else, make the same decisions that they would all make. We are told that greatness is in reach if we follow the right paths, we push for bigger and bigger dreams and keep raising the bar on how we measure personal success.

So what happens when those confident aspiring people feel that their success levels were never able to stretch without them sinking back to their humble beginnings? If they are like me they assume that it was a failure before they even started.

For a few years now I have been avoiding making a decision. Normally I can be quite decisive, especially when it comes down to my business, but for a while now I’ve been trying to brush over and ignore something that has been loudly vying for my attention. I have always thought that when you try something new and it doesn’t work out, picking yourself up and trying again is easy, you already have that momentum behind you with a fresh perspective and the ability to learn from your recent actions.

What is harder, is when you succeed at something, start something else and realise that you no longer have the time to nurture your first success. So now you have to make a choice, what do you do next? Where do you focus your time and energy? Which one do you take the bet on? But all the while, when you’re busy trying not to decide and you’re doing the best you can to juggle everything, you can tell that it isn’t going to work.

This was me, frozen in indecision. I didn’t want to move on, I didn’t want to feel like I failed and so I let this situation play out until it came to the only conclusion that it was ever going to come to. Now instead of the array of options I could have taken several years ago, there is now only one left, the one I wanted to avoid making, but ironically it was what I wanted to happen in the first place. The difference this time around is that my mindset around making this decision is completely different to how it was, I’m ready to make this choice without the fear of feeling like a disappointment or a failure.

It took me a long time, but I realised that I have learnt all I could have learnt from that part of my life and putting it to one side isn’t a failure. The real failure would be to not see the value of my experience, to think of this as an end rather than the start of a brand new branch.

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Accepting Your Choices & Your ‘Failures’

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