How to Regain Your Lost Confidence

Nobody Can Hurt You Without Your Consent

There will be many points in life where your confidence takes a knock. Some of the time you can overcome life’s problems, other times they overwhelm you. Your courage and confidence can get you through, but your self confidence can get hit hard. But the thing to remember is that ‘Nobody can hurt you without your consent.’ Whatever the problem is, it’s not as important as how it affected you, or rather, how YOU allowed it to affect you. Throughout life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. It is up to you whether you want to bounce back or wallow in your suffering.

Your self confidence can be hurt for many reasons. A bad relationship now heading for a breakup or a disappointing performance at work etc. There is obviously a lot of HURT in these situations, but you don’t have to SUFFER. You rise back up and get back to your confident self. There have been many times throughout my life where I have been hurt, where I have felt my self confidence take a knock, professionally and personally.

It’s Not The End

I had reached a point in my career where I was well respected and was considered an EZ Flow Master Educator. With these organisations you have to take exams and go for resits to show that you are still up to the right standards to call yourself that.  One in particular gave me my biggest knock to my confidence and I used it as an opportunity to completely change my life. After taking a week away to do this resist, knowing I could never be demoted, I was excited to move further up the educational ladder. But on the last day after the exams the result was that all of us had been demoted! (Something that I thought would never happen). I was shocked, I thought I had only improved, I was so confident in my abilities. I had done nothing but practice and improved (so I thought). This had a massive effect not only on my confidence but also on my work and my life. It meant I could no longer work with certain clients, It meant I would lose money, lose my job security and my standing within the industry that I loved.

Bouncing Back

So what did I do? Well, immediately after I drove home for 3 hours on the phone to my mum crying my eyes out. I felt wretched, I was devastated. I thought my life was over, I remember pulling over and considering throwing my entire kit out of the car.  I was done with the industry, I obviously wasn’t good enough for them so why would I. Why should I even bother to continue? But that’s not who I am, instead of suffering, instead of allowing myself to keep feeling like this I decided that from now on, no one could tell me I wasn’t good enough. I left EZ Flow and decided to start my own independent courses. I knew I was good enough, I knew I could educate people regardless of what they said. I used this knock down to bounce back and start what I have today. But you want to know what the cherry on top of it all is? EZ Flow asked ME to come back as an international Educator!

Look On The Brighter Side

It’s natural to feel bad for a day or two, but don’t let it last longer than that. Give yourself a time limit to feel these emotions, but once that is over, you need to get back to who you were before. Of course losing your job is a terrible thing, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It might end up being a blessing in disguise. You have time to review your life, take a look at the likes and hobbies you pushed to one side to focus on your job, the skills you couldn’t develop  because of the pressures of your job. You can start afresh and begin living your life in a new way which is more in tune with your abilities and hobbies. A breakup can cause great pain, but then on reflection, were you happy in the relationship? Somethings aren’t just meant to be, now you have the chance to rebuild your life the way you want.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

When something goes wrong in your life you find yourself asking ‘Oh why me?!’. When something goes well in your life do you find yourself asking the same? That’s just human nature, we complain  when we are in trouble but the rest of the time we are too busy with ourselves. You need to stop looking at other people who seem happy and comfortable from a distance. You have to stop comparing their comfort with your suffering as this will only frustrate you further. Learning to focus on yourself and making every effort you can to go out when you’re feeling down is key to rebuilding your self confidence.

Self pity is addictive and can destroys lives. We all indulge in self pity from time to time, but instead of indulging in self pity, you need to take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions. It’s important to learn from your mistakes and give yourself a fresh start. Don’t be let down when you hear ‘NO’ . ‘NO’ is a phrase that every great entrepreneur or inventor has had to face. Each ‘NO’ can take you closer to a ‘YES’ Edison famously did over a thousand failed experiments before he finally made the lightbulb. JK Rowling was rejected several times before a publisher said yes to the Harry Potter books. So you need to get out there and take the occasional ‘NO’ in your stride.

Are You in Your Own Way?

Shadows are caused when you block the path of the light. This is the same as in life, we cause our own shadows when we stand in the way of our happiness. It is key for you to be flexible in todays world. You can spend months looking for a job, while turning away offers because you don’t want to adapt to different requirements. An English teacher laid off from their job applying for other teaching positions, while rejecting offers from private tuition, proof reading or doing copy writing work freelance. The wait for the right position can damage your self confidence even more. It is sensible to use your skills to adapt to new demands rather than look for exactly what you lost. The energy from your new job can help you regain confidence and drive you onto finding the field you want.

If there have been times where you have had to regain your confidence and have bounced back. Then let me know on my Facebook Page

How to Regain Your Lost Confidence

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